road trippin' on a long weekend.

Following up from my last blog ... we are home from our road trip. We made it there and back without any casualties which if I do say so myself is a miracle. Just a little run down of what all went on, partially in case you are interested and partially so I have it in writing for myself to remember.


March 9th: We hit the road around 10am. Our first stop was Waffle House which always does me in to have a fantastic day. I wish there were more of those lovely, greasy joints around here but I will have to take what I can get. Instead of driving straight through to Memphis we decided to make a pit stop in New Orleans. Doing that shortens the drive by a few hours and since we aren't so keen on cars we figured it was probably in our best interest. Once we arrived, at around 5 or so, we parked ourselves at the Marriott in the heart of the French Quarter. My mom was all about going out and having a good time so we freshened up and hit the town. Bourbon Street was the top priority of the evening and if I do say so myself I was not impressed. I think New Orleans is beautiful; there is gorgeous architecture, incredible history, etc. But I do not enjoy the night life. The lack of moral and the "anything goes" attitude just isn't really for me. I can handle it I suppose but I just feel really out of place. The daytime atmosphere is much more my style. However, we had hurricanes at Pat O'Brien's which is a must when you go to New Orleans and ate dinner at this restaurant called Deanie's, boy was it good. We turned in pretty early but overall it was a nice experience for all of us to share. Maybe I will have a change of heart and enjoy it more when I go back someday. Who knows.


March 10th: We woke up and had planned to go to Cafe du Monde since it is a staple in the diet of a true New Orleans native. But alas the line was probably 300 people long. Little did we know when we planned on making this pit stop was that the SEC basketball championship was taking place at the same time we chose to head down there. So everything was unusually packed and full of blue/white Kentucky fans mostly. With a saddened heart and no beignets we made it to a place called the Camelia Grill for breakfast. It was on a side street, kind of off the beaten path but everyone that was walking out said it was worth every minute of the wait. So wait we did. I can't tell you what I enjoyed more, the food or the atmosphere. The waiters were hysterical and the setup of the place was pretty awesome too; the way the cooked and the comments they made, asking us of we wanted some Mississippi water, it just made the meal that much more authentic. One of the guys had worked there for 14 years. I can't even imagine. The food was awesome, though way too much to eat, so we packed our bags and headed back to the hotel. We were off to Memphis. This was another 6 our drive that we head in front of us. But I was so looking forward to getting there. The route we took was just straight up through Mississippi which wasn't too bad especially once we got off those Louisiana roads. Arriving in Tennessee we headed straight to my granddaddys house where we met my dad. It was great to see him since it had been about 2 weeks since he was last home. He piled into the car with us and we headed to the Hyatt where we were going to stay. By that time all four of us were starving and itching to see what Memphis had to offer so we made our way down to Beale street. After wandering a little bit we chose The King's Palace. The food was incredible, again. I don't know if it is even possible to get bad food in Memphis to be honest. The best part of the night though may not have been the food at all - let's just say the entertainment on Beale Street was more than enough to have me still laughing. I won't go into details ... you will just have to wait and ask me in person if you are truly that interested. 


March 11th: We had breakfast again at the hotel and got ready for the big day. The whole reason for the trip was to have one last family meal in my granddaddys house. It is the house my dad grew up in and my granddad has lived there for roughly 70 years. Well due to some unfortunate circumstances it is time to move out and so we found ourselves making plans for this semi family reunion. It was really nice to see my dad's side of the family. The last time I made my way up to Tennessee was about four years ago. I never got to spend as much time with them as my mom's side seeing as they were states away so every trip is always cherished, even if it is just for 24 hours. It was also pretty great seeing Ty interact with my family too; I never had any doubt that they would love him but it was a nice reassurance having them all together, getting along. I am not sure when the next time I will see all of them will be - part of me has a bad feeling it will be for a not so happy occasion but for now I will hang on to the pictures and memories we created this time around. Granddaddy gets tired pretty early on so the family events didn't last long but the eating never seemed to stop. Ty and I did manage to get in a much needed workout before we went to dinner at this place Buckley's. It was just around the corner from the hotel and was recommended to us by the girls at the front desk. Let me note that I had the best grits I have ever had from this place ... hands down. They made my meal. It was a really great way to end our fast paced few days; just the four of us, relaxing and stuffing our faces. 


March 12th: The sun rose early and we hit the road as soon as we finished eating. We were not stopping this time around so we had to get started sooner than the previous trip. Ty was a trooper and drove the whole 10 hours. I was more than impressed with him. It definitely wasn't an easy car ride but we did made it! 

we're off to see the wizard.

If you know anything about my family you know hands down we fly places. Everywhere. Hell I fly back and forth from San Antonio sometimes because that is how much we hate driving. So today will surely be an experience. We are driving to Memphis to see my dad's side of the family. Side note: [Partial good news is that my dad is already there and Ty is coming with my mom and I; so, keep your fingers crossed that there won't be any knock down drag outs.] The reason for the change of heart when it comes to driving you ask ... well, I am a big baby. I mean huge. And the weather is supposed to be pretty severe here and in Tennessee. That being said to get to Memphis on a nonstop flight you fly on a plane that holds roughly 40 to 50 people. Anxiety through the roof. I do not, I repeat do not, do well with turbulence on airplanes. And I am talking about regular sized airplanes, ones that cross the Atlantic Ocean, hold 200 people, and stay in the air for 11 hours - so on this minute aircraft with severe weather headed our way I panicked. So alas here we are. Packing up the car to head  make the 9.5 hour drive. I think it will be a new experience and am honestly sort of excited about it. But we will see how it turns out; I just hope we all make it back in one piece ... and that is not a reference to a fiery car crash of some sort but rather us killing one another out of frustration and cabin fever. That is all. 

Also here is what I took away from Breakaway's podcast from 09/13/2011 titled Engage the World!

We are living in a time with record levels of self-esteem and record levels of depression. How is that possible exactly? How can we be at both ends of the spectrum? We have been taught as a generation that we can do anything if we try. We can be if anything if we work at it hard enough. So our self-esteem sky rockets. And then when we fail because our dreams or goals are realistic we fall deep into a depression that shakes us to our core. But all of that is worldly. In those moments when our hopes are so high or so low we are placing our value in what the world says we can and can not do. But we as people exist to pursue Him - and He is our rewarder when we do. 


Seeking Him doesn't just mean adding God to our program. When we continue to seek the ways of the world and just partially rely on the Lord not much changes. We do not get to see His rewards or reap the full benefits of His grace, mercy and love. We need to let go of the world's program for us and get on board with God's. 

When we journey with Jesus and let Him take control of our path, it won't take long till we are changed. Realistically it isn't easy to be broken of our selfishness, only the Lord can do that. But the more we walk with Him and recognize how blessed we are He will very easily begin to direct our eyes towards others who are suffering more. 

Jesus doesn't motivate us with guilt and shame contrary to what we may think. In Matthew 9:35-38 it talks about the Lord's travels. It says in v. 36 that Jesus looked up and saw the crowds and had compassion even though they weren't following Him. He was not judgmental but there was a movement in Him that wanted to help these lost people. 

In order for us to get with the program and get on board with what the Lord is doing, in order for us to have that same compassion that Jesus had, in order to engage the world with our walks with Christ we must talk to God about men before you ever think about talking to men about God. 

etc. etc. etc.

SO much has been going on as of late. I feel as though the need to update the blog world [as if anyone actually reads this] as to what has been happening in my life. But in case anyone actually does ... and for my own sanity, this will be a compilation of random thoughts floating around in my head. Blogging seems to be the only way I can make sense of things sometimes. 


I had HAND FOOT AND MOUTH DISEASE. Can we talk about that for a minute? How ridiculous does that sound ... hand, foot and mouth disease. It sounds like I'm dying. It sounds as though my hands, feet and my mouth are carrying some incurable infection that is going to slowly permeate through the rest of my body and kill me day by day. It sounds disgusting and let me note that as disgusting as it sounds ... it is so much worse. For the brave at heart you are more than welcome to look at images on google of what my poor soft palate, tongue and tonsils had to endure for the past seven days. But let me ensure you all that it was sick nasty. Basically ulcer/blister things form everywhere in your mouth, cover your hands and feet and since it is a virus you just deal with it. Luckily my hands and feet were spared the worst of it but my mouth was miserable. I urge all of you to steer clear if at all possible - not a fun time. 


Due to my illness I had to take time off of working out. Today I start back - that is going to make for a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. Boo. 


My dad has restless leg syndrome. Which I never thought was a big deal. It usually only bothers him at night and generally speaking it has never seemed to cause many problems. Over the past few months I have seen it start to agitate him more than normal though. The main symptom is that your legs are restless - crazy I know. It usually only bothers him in the evenings and it is just one of those things where he can't seem to get comfortable. He fidgets a lot, constantly is repositioning his legs ... that sort of thing. But yesterday when we were in the car we started to talk about it and he just spouted off saying, "The doctor said what I have is a precursor to parkinson's so I guess this is something I am going to have to get used to." It came out of nowhere and he said it in such a nonchalant way. I was shocked to say the least. The reality hit me in that moment that my parents are older and I am going to be without them someday. But before that day comes I am going to have to watch them slowly deteriorate before my eyes until they just can't make it anymore. I am 23 and I am not ready to be without my parents. I don't want to have to take care of them all by myself. It's scary to me. I know that precursor doesn't necessarily mean that it is going to happen; my dad may live a long, healthy life and just have to deal with RLS, which would be a blessing. But the comment put the thought in my head and now it is hard not to dwell on it, at least for the time being. 


Valentine's Day passed during my period of illness and although I was more than slightly dying [due to my disease and all] I had the most wonderful surprise I could have ever imagined. Ty decided to show up on my doorstep around 5:30PM on Tuesday the 14th. I was absolutely taken back by his gesture. It showed more than just how much he loves me but it proved how selfless, kind and Godly he is. He made the drive from San Antonio on Tuesday evening even though he had to turn around and drive back Wednesday for his class Thursday morning. Then he came right back Thursday evening and spent the weekend here. I am in awe of how incredible of a man he is. I can't imagine how exhausted he was or how overwhelming those few days must have been. He continues to prove to me every day just how lucky and blessed I am. And I hope he knows that I realize and thank God daily for putting him in my life. 

Pinterest has overtaken my soul. Especially recently when I had nothing to do but stalk people on Facebook and pin thousands of useless items to my boards, I realized just how many cool things there actually are online. In my spare time and over the past few months I have actually followed through on some of my Pinterest posts. 

Blue Moon Cupcakes. Myself and two of my best friends took on this challenge for a Superbowl gathering we were having and let me tell you they turned out fabulous. Of course they didn't look like the picture, they never do, but they tasted awesome. Definitely worth a try for a gathering or when you are just craving something different and fun. After thinking about it we realized you can do this with any kind of fruitier beer, whether it be Corona [if you enjoy lime] or Leinenkugel Berry Weiss [for a berry flavor]. 


Pumpkin Dump Cake. I made this a while ago during the Thanksgiving/Halloween season so I do apologize for not posting about it sooner. Pumpkin may not compliment many of your dishes right now since it is more of a fall kind of food but this was a delicious dessert. Very rich though. It was definitely easy to make and I enjoyed every last bit of it. My parents make a dump cake that is more year round but when I saw this I couldn't pass it up. 


The Ol' Switcheroo. I didn't do this at the beginning of the year like it suggests but it is definitely an incredible idea. I have WAY more clothes in my closet than I could ever possibly need and I know that I continually go back to wear the same ones over and over again. So in an effort to make some room for new clothes of course I switched all of the hangers in my closet to hang backwards. Each time I wear a shirt I put the hanger the way it it supposed to be. After 3 or 4 months any of the clothes I have that haven't been worn will be given away. Woohoo. 


I am hopefully going to keep my Pinterest obsession going and following through on making some of the recipes and crafts I have posted. 


That is about it. Lots of thoughts still going on but who knows ... I don't have enough energy to say much else currently. 

... false. I have jury duty tonight. And now that I am no longer in college I have zero way of getting out of it. Unless I have kids or am over 70 or something. Suck.

sibling rivalry.

For those of you that know anything about me you are probably wondering how I am writing a blog that revolves around siblings when I, myself, am an only child. It's a good question because I know absolutely nothing about little brothers always rummaging through my stuff or older sisters giving me advice on high school. But what I do know is that my parents both have siblings and it doesn't seem to have worked out in their favor in either case. They each have a brother who seems to have chosen to not be a true family member so to speak. My mom's brother bailed when the going got tough and she was left to care for both of her parents during some very difficult medical conditions. Where as my dad has a brother who has chosen to take advantage of my granddad and use up the majority of the finances that he could get his hands on.

I don't get it. Being an only child I know that I am responsible for taking care of my parents when it gets to that point and I am responsible for managing their finances in the best way possible for them, not using the money in my favor. I have accepted that I will be the one. And I am more than okay with doing whatever I need to do for them; after all they have done above and beyond for me my whole life. The idea of bailing on the two most important people in my life has never so much as crossed my mind. So I started to think how two of my very own family members could be "those" kind of people.

There is no rhyme or reason to why either of them have behaved the way they have. Nothing to set them off into that kind of behavior - that I know of at least. It seems to be there are just truly sad, angry, and un kind people in the world. I have always kind of known that. But having two of them so close to me that they are my own blood makes it all the more real.

My hope is that I can forgive them for what they have done to my grandparents and parents. That in itself is an easier task said than done. But I really need to focus on letting the hate go out of my life. It makes me bitter and mean and more like them than I really ever want to be. At some point my current feelings for them will fade and I will be desperate for them, hopeful that they may change and be better people and maybe even my heart will desire a relationship with them again. But until then I just pray to God that I don't have bones like theirs in my body because I don't know how a person like that lives with themselves.

you've got your head in the clouds.

Oh my it has been much too long since I have written anything. So many things have happened. Here we go with an update [please excuse the random order of thoughts].

I went to Boston for a week with my parents. It was a wonderful trip. Not only did I realize how envious I am of their accents but I also rekindled my love for hockey. We took trolley rides all over town, mastered the subway system, enjoyed every kind of food under the sun at Quincy Market, sang Sweet Caroline at a Red Sox game ... and the list goes on and on. Maybe I'll move there. Like for real.

* side note ... The Boston Bruins won the Stanley Cup roughly a week after I returned from my trip. No big deal or anything. * 

Nowadays I am looking for a job. And by looking I mean casually glancing at posted ads online every few days. I am a big fail when it comes to having the motivation to actually become employed. It isn't that I don't want the money or I don't have the desire to become independent [I totally do] but I just got rejected from quite a few places when I first started applying and the discouragement has taken over. Boo.

On the brighter side my parents said they will give me till my 23rd birthday to become a part of the real world. That leaves me 228 days to enjoy my freedom. Wahoo.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part Dos comes out in approximately 24 days. I already have my ticket. Just saying I am a total dweeb and have decided to embrace it. There will be a total HP marathon leading up to the event and I might even dress up. Bellatrix is my alter ego after all.

This past weekend I went to a bachelorette party. It made me want to get married solely so I could have a bachelorette party of my own. Just saying. Wedding fever is a true disease. 

This upcoming weekend I am going to Galveston for a girls weekend. There will be five adults, one child and a dog in a house for four days. I will give an update on that after everything goes down. Oh my there will be some good stories to share.

Oh I graduated too. That was fun. 

a week of truth [11/30 thru 15/30]

30 Days of Truth
Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.

Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.

Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.

Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.

Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.

Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.

Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for. 

Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit .

Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.

Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.

Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.

Oh dear. I am going to go with my hair. People always think it is so thick, beautiful and long. In reality [the majority of the time] I am not the biggest fan of it. I think it is too long and too thick. On a good day it takes me roughly thirty minutes simply to blow dry. And then another good fifteen to straighten it. When I leave it wavy it slowly but surely increases in size and looks like a lions mane. All this is from my perspective though so alas if it gets me compliments then I will just deal with it. 


This is incredibly short but I am unsure how else to elaborate. Next ...

Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
I never get compliments on  my smile. I am perfectly okay with that too. One of my teeth really ticks me off. I had braces when I was twelve and thirteen. You know the days when you really wanted braces to be cool and then you got them and hated life ... that was my experience. SO when I was told that my braces were coming off I pretty much vowed to never do another thing the orthodontist told me because I had been listening to him for far too long. Issue: I didn't wear the retainer given to me. Stupid. Now one of my top teeth is crooked. I so wish I had listened to Dr. Anderson. Oh and I am willing to admit that they are more than slightly yellow from the amount of coffee I drink. Basically I know exactly why no one compliments me on my "pearly whites" and I just don't care much.

Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
My dearest Emery,

I have never had anyone as reliable as you in my life. No matter the situation you are the ones I can always rely upon. In good days and bad your words seem to make the tears flow and pass more quickly and the smiles to come regardless of the situation. Thank you for never betraying or abandoning me. No matter how insane I seemed or how distraught I was you were always there to make sense of the world and calm me down. You are the ones that have helped me clarify my thoughts and release my anger. It is unreal to me what I would have done on some days had I not been able to just blare your music as high as I could while shouting the lyrics out as I drove down the highway. Windows down, hair blowing in my face ... nothing could be better. Though I know your days will come to an end at some point I will never allow my loyalty to you to fade. Your albums have significantly changed my life. I will be listening to The Question on repeat every day I need some helping getting by from now until eternity. I can't say how much your music has meant to me. That sounds silly to say out loud. But you have helped me survive in a way. 

Love. 


Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Dear John:
I hate your stinking guts. 
You make me vomit.
You're scum between my toes.
Love, Maggie

Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
This question was incredibly difficult. Not because I don't know who or what I couldn't live without but rather because I have never tried to live without any of those particular things. Duh, cause then I would die. So I think I am just going to leave that particular little part of the phrase out when considering my answers. If I suddenly remember something that fits the particular qualifications I will make sure to add a side note but I don't think there is much of anything. 


My parents first and foremost. I suppose I have had my spurts of living without them. College has been a difficult time for me. I am incredibly close to my parents - I mean call them at least five or six times a day - and love going home to just hang out and enjoy their company. Coming to school and leaving home was not an easy process. It wasn't necessarily that I had to live without them but rather I felt like I had too. I didn't want to be the girl that went home every weekend or relied on them for everything so I just chose to remove myself from their grasp. By far the most difficult experience of my life. They help me keep my sanity. I could have done it all by myself but I didn't want to. The strength and courage that I draw from them is absolutely incredible. Knowing that one day they are both going to be gone is a tough realization. I don't want to live without them.


Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.

Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.

Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.

Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?

Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.

Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?

Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.

Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.

Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)

Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.

Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?

Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?

Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?

Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.

Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself.