sibling rivalry.

For those of you that know anything about me you are probably wondering how I am writing a blog that revolves around siblings when I, myself, am an only child. It's a good question because I know absolutely nothing about little brothers always rummaging through my stuff or older sisters giving me advice on high school. But what I do know is that my parents both have siblings and it doesn't seem to have worked out in their favor in either case. They each have a brother who seems to have chosen to not be a true family member so to speak. My mom's brother bailed when the going got tough and she was left to care for both of her parents during some very difficult medical conditions. Where as my dad has a brother who has chosen to take advantage of my granddad and use up the majority of the finances that he could get his hands on.

I don't get it. Being an only child I know that I am responsible for taking care of my parents when it gets to that point and I am responsible for managing their finances in the best way possible for them, not using the money in my favor. I have accepted that I will be the one. And I am more than okay with doing whatever I need to do for them; after all they have done above and beyond for me my whole life. The idea of bailing on the two most important people in my life has never so much as crossed my mind. So I started to think how two of my very own family members could be "those" kind of people.

There is no rhyme or reason to why either of them have behaved the way they have. Nothing to set them off into that kind of behavior - that I know of at least. It seems to be there are just truly sad, angry, and un kind people in the world. I have always kind of known that. But having two of them so close to me that they are my own blood makes it all the more real.

My hope is that I can forgive them for what they have done to my grandparents and parents. That in itself is an easier task said than done. But I really need to focus on letting the hate go out of my life. It makes me bitter and mean and more like them than I really ever want to be. At some point my current feelings for them will fade and I will be desperate for them, hopeful that they may change and be better people and maybe even my heart will desire a relationship with them again. But until then I just pray to God that I don't have bones like theirs in my body because I don't know how a person like that lives with themselves.