we're off to see the wizard.

If you know anything about my family you know hands down we fly places. Everywhere. Hell I fly back and forth from San Antonio sometimes because that is how much we hate driving. So today will surely be an experience. We are driving to Memphis to see my dad's side of the family. Side note: [Partial good news is that my dad is already there and Ty is coming with my mom and I; so, keep your fingers crossed that there won't be any knock down drag outs.] The reason for the change of heart when it comes to driving you ask ... well, I am a big baby. I mean huge. And the weather is supposed to be pretty severe here and in Tennessee. That being said to get to Memphis on a nonstop flight you fly on a plane that holds roughly 40 to 50 people. Anxiety through the roof. I do not, I repeat do not, do well with turbulence on airplanes. And I am talking about regular sized airplanes, ones that cross the Atlantic Ocean, hold 200 people, and stay in the air for 11 hours - so on this minute aircraft with severe weather headed our way I panicked. So alas here we are. Packing up the car to head  make the 9.5 hour drive. I think it will be a new experience and am honestly sort of excited about it. But we will see how it turns out; I just hope we all make it back in one piece ... and that is not a reference to a fiery car crash of some sort but rather us killing one another out of frustration and cabin fever. That is all. 

Also here is what I took away from Breakaway's podcast from 09/13/2011 titled Engage the World!

We are living in a time with record levels of self-esteem and record levels of depression. How is that possible exactly? How can we be at both ends of the spectrum? We have been taught as a generation that we can do anything if we try. We can be if anything if we work at it hard enough. So our self-esteem sky rockets. And then when we fail because our dreams or goals are realistic we fall deep into a depression that shakes us to our core. But all of that is worldly. In those moments when our hopes are so high or so low we are placing our value in what the world says we can and can not do. But we as people exist to pursue Him - and He is our rewarder when we do. 


Seeking Him doesn't just mean adding God to our program. When we continue to seek the ways of the world and just partially rely on the Lord not much changes. We do not get to see His rewards or reap the full benefits of His grace, mercy and love. We need to let go of the world's program for us and get on board with God's. 

When we journey with Jesus and let Him take control of our path, it won't take long till we are changed. Realistically it isn't easy to be broken of our selfishness, only the Lord can do that. But the more we walk with Him and recognize how blessed we are He will very easily begin to direct our eyes towards others who are suffering more. 

Jesus doesn't motivate us with guilt and shame contrary to what we may think. In Matthew 9:35-38 it talks about the Lord's travels. It says in v. 36 that Jesus looked up and saw the crowds and had compassion even though they weren't following Him. He was not judgmental but there was a movement in Him that wanted to help these lost people. 

In order for us to get with the program and get on board with what the Lord is doing, in order for us to have that same compassion that Jesus had, in order to engage the world with our walks with Christ we must talk to God about men before you ever think about talking to men about God. 

the reason why.

This is what I took away from the Breakaway Podcast from 09/06/2011

There are a lot of days when I ask the question why at least a few hundred times. I am not sure exactly the reason I ask it because I never seem to get any answers but it is inevitable. We as people want to to know the answer to questions we have in our lives. However no matter how hard we search the world can not give us the answer we are looking for. But with the Lord there has never been a more clear answer than the one that is presented to us. 


This week Colossians 1:15-17 and Romans 9:19-20 were looked at. The questions of "why am I here?" or "what direction should I be going?" are dug into. Ben really focused on the question, "why college?" Since I am no longer in college the whole podcast from the start seemed a little bit irrelevant but you can replace the word college with any noun in your life. With myself in particular I want to know why I haven't been able to find a job yet. I want to know why I am being put in a position where I am substitute teaching and babysitting. I desire more than anything to be in a place where I have a steady career, am supporting myself and making my parents proud. What I should desire from the bottom of my soul is the Lord. So is there a way to do both? Can I pursue the life I have always dreamed of and Jesus at the same time? 


We, I, need to be pursuing God through whatever we are doing. It isn't always the easiest thing but bringing Him the glory in every little thing we do should be our passion. 


There are three reasons why we are here in this life:
1. to study Him
2. to study ourselves
3. and to join Him in what He is doing


We need to engage the world in our theology no matter our place in society. So even though I wake up some days and I wonder why my God has placed me in this particular position I know that I am here to serve a purpose. Whether or not I get an answer as to what that purpose is is up to Him but I need to bring glory to His name regardless.

the season of giving up.

Lent. 


I always give things up even though I am not Catholic. My mom is Catholic though. And even though she doesn't give anything up, the ideals of Catholicism have been engrained in me since a very young age. I know how to kneel and stand, I know the Hail Mary prayer, and I know all about holy water, altar boys, and communion. So I tend to give things up for Lent just as any other Catholic would. I suppose it isn't necessarily a prerequisite to be Catholic in order to participate but the two seem to be paired together quite nicely in society.  


This year I started thinking about what I was going to sacrifice and the list was few and far between. I have done all of the common stuff - sweets, soda, Facebook even. I thought about what I could rid myself of that would actually be a difficult sacrifice and nothing really seemed to pop into my head. So instead of removing something from my life I have chosen to add something to my life. I want to read my Bible more and start going back to church. 


My relationship with the Lord has never been as strong as I would have liked it; I think a lot of Christians feel that way. There is always a time in the back of your head when you wonder how you could be doing things better or when you are envious of the people you see at church. Although I have pursued Christ I haven't done so to a degree that I really am happy with. I do want to make Him a center piece in my life, in my relationships and I want the true, genuine desire to make Him known to everyone. 


That being said I am going to read my Bible more. Listen to Breakaway podcasts. [Side note: if you are reading my blog perchance and don't know what Breakaway is - try it out. Ben Stuart is an incredible man of the Lord and speaks pure truth. It is what I miss most about College Station in complete honesty.] Attend church on Sunday and really strive to form a more personal relationship with God. 


With all that being said I think I am going to start writing more on here about what the Lord is teaching me through what I am reading in the Word, etc. as well as continue to write about my day to day life. 

So here goes nothing ... 

This is what I took away from the Breakaway Podcast from 08/29/2011

We have to make a decision to engage God honestly. Generally we take time to engage in every other worldly pursuit besides the Lord. Whether it be sports, work, school, friends - there always seems to be something more important on our plate than taking the time to get to know Jesus. 


Rarely do we think about what can fully come out of our life if we pursue the Lord. We know if we work hard in school we can get a good gob. Or if we make time for our friends they will be there to help us out in difficult situations. But if we combined all of those things, those resources and Jesus - what then could come out of our life?


We were made for the Lord's purpose and our desires were meant to be satisfied by the Lord. We know that we aren't okay. The world isn't ok. And to fix ourselves and fix society it takes more than just self-acceptance. The world can't fix us the way that God can. 


This week at Breakaway the text in Hebrews 11 was studied. In particular Hebrews 11:6 the question of "What does God want from us?" is answered. It is simple. He wants two things. The first being that we must simply believe He exists. And second He wants us to believe that He rewards those who earnestly seek Him. God isn't looking for moral conformity. He doesn't just want us to be good people who tell the truth and are kind to others; He is looking for personal intimacy with us. He desires a relationship with each and every one of us and wants to be what fulfills our every need. 


Though it is easier said than done it is the most rewarding thing you can do. When you place your hope in the Jesus instead of people of the earth or worldly things you can be completely satisfied. Because unlike your friends or family, Jesus is capable of all things; it isn't fair to ask your parents or whomever to try and do something they are destined to fail at. 


We need to engage God in our daily lives. We need to strive to know Him through a personal relationship and recognize that that is all He asks of us. He knows we are going to screw up, time and time again, and He is prepared for that. He can handle everything. So we simply need to let go and let God.