"life isn't fair ..."

Every comeback I ever made to my parents when I was little somehow revolved around the world fair. It was generally something along the lines of ... "THAT'S NOT FAIR!" [in my whiny adolescent voice]. And alas my parents always came back right at me with, "Well, life isn't fair."


I always knew they were right. I never doubted that life would be unfair. I knew that if things were going someone's way, even mine, then they weren't necessarily going the way someone else would like them to. And I came to accept that as I grew up. It wasn't the most fun thing to realize but it is definitely the one thing that I needed to recognize in life more than anything else. The thing is I don't think you ever really accept that fact. I am grown now, or grown enough, and I still catch myself verbally spouting off the same thing I did as a small child, thinking it almost daily. 


Then I look at my life and those around me... 
- Pawpee died when I was 7; that wasn't fair.
- Grandma died when I was 10; that wasn't fair. 
- Dad got cancer when I was 17; that wasn't fair. 
- Uncle abandoned my family when I was 19; that wasn't fair.
- Mom got cancer when I was 20; that wasn't fair. 
- Meme died when I was 21; that wasn't fair. 


I don't know why I think or thought that it would ever change. Chris died so innocently at the young age of 19. And now I am watching Anna slowly slip away when she too has only had 19 beautiful years. 

I want life to be fair, as much as I know it won't ever be.