to infinity and beyond.

Never have I ever been more terrified about my future than on days like today. As I start to apply for graduation, pick out announcements and order my cap and gown life seems to momentarily stand still. I can remember back to a time when all I cared about was playing dress up in my moms high heels; how unfortunate it is that we have to grow up. 

But then I begin to think about how in so many ways I am still a little kid. For example, I had to get a shot yesterday and let me tell you the minute I found out that a booster was necessary the waterworks began. There is a huge fear that has been deep inside me as far back as I can remember and it revolves around needles. I don't care if you are pricking my finger, giving me a shot or drawing blood - there is going tears [and lots of them] and possibly fainting.


Additionally I wanted my daddy to hold my hand. The thought of him sitting in the waiting room as I was being poked and prodded made me sick ... so I made him join me.

All in all - I barely cried. 

And in that moment, when I looked down at my puppy dog bandaid and my dad holding my hand as we walked out of the pediatricians office I realized - there will always be a part of me, twenty-two, nine, or sixty-seven, that is a child.