green with envy.

Thoughts on Breakaway: Overcoming Jealousy 09.20.2011


The past three weeks of Breakaway podcasts that I have listened to Ben has been crying out from the stage that we need to seek Jesus and pursue Him. We are meant to run through life, being a light for the Lord, but we can't engage in that positive pursuit unless we are simultaneously disentangling ourselves from the ways of the world. There are so many things that get us twisted and tied up and halts our progress. 


We need to look at what is holding us back. I need to do some reflection myself and figure out what is holding me back in particular from pursuing a deeper relationship with Christ. 

Ben mentions that there are three huge problems that hold us back. When he first said that I imagined things like alcohol, sex, drugs, etc. But none of those came out of his mouth. Instead I heard jealousy, guilt and bitterness. 

This week in particular there was a focus placed on jealousy. It was noted that envy has three ingredients. The first is that it requires two people. The second is that there has to be a perception in the envier of some advantage that the envied has that the envier does not. And the third, which you must have, is having a negative emotional response the the previous perception.

Genesis 37:1-14, 18-28 is the story of Joseph and the coat of many colors. The jealousy that came over Joseph's brothers was so severe that they couldn't even say hi to him; there was a true hatred for their own flesh and blood. Joseph's father loved him the most and he made it known. But that wasn't the straw that broke the camels back. It was when the coat was given to Joseph; the coat was a symbol that some day he was going to become his father and follow in his footsteps. 


The reason God makes Joseph a ruler in Egypt is because of the famine that was going to hit. Joseph was the only one who knew how to solve it and he actually ended up saving his family. But God doesn't reveal all of that to begin with because frankly He doesn't have to. God isn't cruel; He weaves all things together for the good of those who love Him. But we have to put our trust in Him. 


We struggle indefinitely with envy. Just think about the last seven days. Think of your honest response in moments where there was someone or something you were jealous of. I know that I am rather guilty of wanting what others have. It ranges from cute clothes on someone to steady jobs/careers that people I know are acquiring and it poisons my thoughts. 


You can't take the first step in the journey of loving God if you don't love other people. Proverbs 14 says that envy makes your bones rot, and Proverbs 27 says that envy is worse than wrath and anger. 


We first need to understand that envy isn't about the other person. It is simply about us. Whatever problem or inadequacy we feel like we have God could have changed in us but He didn't. Envy is insatiable. Nothing will be able to satisfy us in the world ... only the Lord can do that. We need to aim our anger and envy at God and just be honest. And then we need to have the integrity to be able to withstand God's honesty back. God has something bigger and better for us and we need to run our race under His conditions. Not our own.